How Often Should You Visit a Parent in Assisted Living?

You have a parent—or parents—in assisted living. You try to visit them as often as you can, but sometimes worry that’s not often enough. Is there a rule for how frequently you should visit that you’re missing?

While there’s no hard rule that dictates how often you need to stop by and see your parents in their care facility, there are some questions you can ask yourself to better adjust your visiting schedule to match your availability, as well as your parent’s happiness and well-being.

How Far Do You Live From Their Assisted Living Community?

You need to consider the distance between your home and your parent’s community. A long commute can be a real barrier to frequent visits. If you live hours away, weekly trips might not be practical. A more realistic schedule could be bi-weekly or monthly visits, supplemented with daily phone or video calls.

Does Your Parent Have a Strong Social Network?

A parent who has friends within the community and participates in group activities may not need visits as frequently. You can check the facility’s social calendar for events like movie nights, game sessions, or art classes. A parent who’s active and engaged might be quite content with fewer, but longer, visits.

Is Your Parent Able to Advocate for Themselves?

Unfortunately, abuse can happen in care facilities. Some common signs of patient abuse to look for include unexplained bruises, changes in behavior, or poor hygiene, among others.

If your parent mentions they don’t feel safe or are unable to speak up for their own needs due to medical conditions like dementia or aphasia, you may want to visit them more often. Frequent check-ins allow you to observe your parent’s condition and environment firsthand, bring concerns to the attention of the staff at the care facility, or determine if you need to move your parent to a different facility.

What Are Your Parent’s Expectations?

Have a straightforward conversation with your parent about their expectations for visits. They might prefer shorter, more frequent check-ins, or they might value longer, more in-depth visits less often. Communication can clarify what they truly want and help you manage your own schedule without guilt.

What Does Your Schedule Realistically Allow?

Your own work, family, and personal commitments are valid considerations. It’s better to set a realistic, sustainable visitation schedule than to overcommit and burn out. A consistent pattern of visits, even if they’re less frequent, can provide your parent with a sense of stability and something to anticipate.

Create a Schedule That Works for Everyone

How often should you visit a parent, or parents, in assisted living? That’s ultimately down to your wishes and your parent’s wishes. Consider these factors when you carve out a schedule to connect.