Dr. Eboni Green
December 15, 2021
Moving into a long-term care facility usually improves the quality of life and independence by providing structured routine, safety and security, and companionship. However, your loved one may be unhappy for a variety of reasons. The good news is that most causes of unhappiness can be improved by having an open and honest discussion with your loved one and the care staff.
Your loved one may not want to tell you they are unhappy. Some elders fear burdening or upsetting family caregivers. Your loved one’s happiness is paramount, here are some signs that your loved one is unhappy and suggestions for what to do to resolve these feelings.
Some elders must stay in their rooms for health reasons, but it is concerning if your loved one chooses to do so. They may also avoid having visitors and not going out or calling friends and family but not interacting with others. They may feel isolated because they dislike their home or the area in which they live. This could be a normal reaction to moving in and making new friends, or it could be a sign of something more sinister. Loss of motivation to socialize and exercise is a symptom of depression, but loneliness exacerbates these feelings.
Long-term care facilities generally have a variety of activities and great community connections. Encourage your loved ones to participate, even if it is slow at first, to help them feel included.
It’s normal to lose confidence as you age, however if your loved one has lost confidence since moving into a care home, he or she may need help. Living in a care home removes responsibilities such as home management, which can cause a sense of purposelessness and loss of confidence, especially for former household heads.
Living with a large group of people can be difficult. Individuals may be intimidated by other residents, so speak quietly and dress modestly. Conversely, outgoing people may become subdued and less sociable if they are not the center of attention.
Many people gain confidence as they get used to living in a care home, but if they don’t, see what you can do to help them.
Inability to care for oneself or refuse care is a sign of unhappiness. You might speak to the home manager/administrator if your loved one no longer take pride in their appearance, refuse to wash, or ignore their nutritional needs.
Sometimes, large amounts of junk food or alcohol are smuggled back home. Leaning on destructive habits and neglecting health can indicate that they are unhappy and need help.
When we are going through a difficult time, we often long for happier days. It may be a sign that your loved one is deeply unhappy and using your memories can be a means of escaping one’s current reality. Your loved one may wax lyrical about a time in their lives when they were the happiest and constantly compare the present to that time. They may even try to imitate it by dressing in 1970s style or only listening to music from that era.
Similarly, your loved one may engage in other forms of escapism to numb their current situation. They may become fixated on a book, TV show, or even another culture they deem perfect.
Wistfulness is healthy, but if it’s used to escape reality, they need help to be happy now. If they insist that they were very happy and healthy in their previous home before moving to a care home, remind them why they moved and help them move on with their lives.
Speak to the caregivers at the home about your loved one’s situation. If you speak to several employees, you may be able to piece together when and why the issues arose. If your loved one dislikes one caregiver, find out if it’s because of a genuine issue with their care or just a personality clash.
The most important thing is to encourage your loved one to express their feelings. Allowing them to express their feelings may help them understand their origins. Dementia patients may struggle to express themselves. Professional caregivers are trained in dementia and can help you by telling you when your loved one is most alert or giving you advice on how to handle direct questions.
Work with the staff to help your loved one feel better. There is probably a simple solution to their unhappiness. Simple things like getting them a pet (some homes allow it), settling a dispute with another resident, or scheduling their favorite activity. It could be as simple as moving them to a new care home in their preferred area or setting up weekly counseling.
If you think that there may be more to the way they are acting, then it may be worth talking to medical malpractice attorneys. Do you have any other tips that could help? Please share some of them in the comments below.
